Sans contrefaçon je suis un garçon
by Miss-shiva-adler
Summary: First there was music, followed by dancing and then? And then there was a kiss.


**Title: **Sans contrefaçon je suis un garçon  
**Rating:** PG  
**Words**: 4,526 (We all know that this isn't a ficlet, this was supposed to be a ficlet, this has too many words to be a ficlet)  
**Summary :** First there was music, followed by dancing and then? And then there was a kiss.

**Author's note: ** I saw 'la soeur de Mozart' a few weeks ago and I couldn't help to think that I really NEEDED a crossover with MOR and since I haven't written any f/f fanfiction in ages I thought it was the perfect opportunity to write for my new ship.

Maria Anna couldn't help but feel mesmerized behind her violin as all the singers on stage started the last part of the finale, set off by the women in perfect harmony, _her_ voice which had before given a promise of love and fidelity was now telling tales of morality and wisdom. The colours of her sounds interwove themselves with the same melody of others voices. Singing with her heart and the vibrations of her being, she was one with the music and the others. She shined with the light of a million stars and the sole presence of her voice was illuminating the room.

Wolfgang gave signs of ritardando to the singers as they sang in crescendo, the violins playing with vivacity. Nannerl closed her eyes, knowing her part by heart. She let everything flow as they started on the last page and just as soon as it began, it was over, the curtain was drawn. Tremendous applause came from the audience. Wolfgang looked satisfied and had turned himself to bow to his public. He clapped in his hands and looked back at the musicians. The prodigy composer then saw her in the first row of the first violins. That unique genuine and juvenile smile appeared upon his face, a little smile played around her lips as he winked at her. He knew who she was and he didn't seem to mind.

When the Burgtheater started to empty itself, she tried to discreetly take her violin and leave before various women started invading the music space to acclaim her brother. She was safely backstage when she heard him laugh as they encircled him like working bees around the queen mother; in contrast to her, he always liked the attention that came after a performance, while she preferred the calm and the silence.

She went to the dressing rooms to retrieve the case of her violin; her instrument was the most precious thing she owned ever since she had the first one had been taken from her. She wouldn't want it to be damaged or harmed in any way. With gentle and careful gestures, the instrument got tucked securely away. Satisfied, she caressed the case before catching a glimpse of herself in the little mirror on the wall. The white wig hid her long hair quite well, no strand of her dark hair was peaking out, and the bobby pins even made sure it stayed steadily upon her head. Her face looked so different because of the white powder and the red lipstick. She liked it. When she had burned all of her music and taken back her gowns, she had sworn to never look at that costume again. Because each time when her father asked her to play the harpsichord, hatred almost took her heart. How she then played bitterly each time it was asked of her and how each time she was never rightfully praised. She lost interest in music, the violin not being an instrument for 'women' and even if she had a good voice, singing wasn't her passion.

Sometimes her brother told her how sad he was she wasn't playing as often anymore. Her comforting words were that she'll always listen to his music because it was the most beautiful thing in the world. The young boy then always smiled and said that he'd do his so very best to please her then. Sometimes Wolfgang still composed for her and she always took pleasure into performing those pieces. Her interests shifted to other matters like: cooking, gowns, playing cards, knitting... She started to make friends and a life of her own.

But eventually the call of music had been stronger than her will. When her brother had started to work for joseph II, she found herself thinking about the violin again, longing to see and hear it more.

One day when her father had left a violin in the main room and she hadn't resisted the urge to pick up the instrument and play a tune. She had cringed at how much her skills had deteriorated. Slow, constricted, the vivacity and fluidity gone. A friend of hers had then entered the room and had had a small cry of surprise to discover the oldest of the Mozart's children playing such a manly instrument. Nannerl had quailed at how the other woman had it clearly found it misplaced and weird to see a lady play a violin. With reluctance she had deposited the violin back in its place and apologized to her friend, who had then winked at her saying that in the end it wasn't such a horrifying thing. They had laughed and had then proceeded to go into the drawing room for tea and books.

Somehow after that encounter with the instrument, Maria Anna had found herself thinking more and more about the violin and how much she actually missed it. A few days later, a maid had come in her room with a giant box, asking what she had to do with the trunk because it seemed not have been used for years. Nannerl had opened it, discovering something she had completely forgotten about. It was her French gentleman costume. Suddenly the burning passion of music had come back to her as if it had never left.

Even if her heart had ached at the memory and that there was a renewed feeling of betrayal striking her head, she felt herself becoming curious. She had dismissed the maid, saying she'd take care of the matter. Her hands trembled and her heart was pounding into her chest as she took her time to dress. Putting every layer upon her body, she felt something stirring inside of her. She carefully washed her face of all the layers of powder and lipstick. She detached her hair and put a silken ribbon around a low ponytail. A good look in the mirror then made her realize :

She could do this again, go outside, dressed as a man; play the violin; follow music courses; compose; wield melodies to tell stories. The longing, the craving to play; the irrefutable will to lay her hand around the bow and make the strings vibrate the sounds of beauty; to make music that would transcend ages and time, took her heart captive. She wanted to be liberated again, to be as free as a swallow and stand wherever she wanted to stand, to embrace a kind of freedom that she, as a woman, would never be able to achieve.

She made decision and as soon as she was hidden from sight she would dressup and go outside. It didn't take long to find a teacher and resume her musical studies. Not long after, she found herself playing in a small company where she was later on recruited to play as one of the first violins in the Burgtheater orchestra. Woman by day, man by night, she found herself alive and playing music again.

She knew that she was quite beautiful dressed in ball gowns, but she had to admit that right now, dressed as a man, she looked quite handsome too. But it had been done now, the reception of Don Giovanni's premiere was about to start and she had to change clothes very quickly before anyone noticed her absence.

"Johannes !," a strong hand laid itself upon her shoulder, "well dear fella, aren't you coming and have drink with us?"

The booming voice surprised her. Luka Eigner was the first violinist next to her and he had the bad habit to never announce his arrival. He had removed his wig and taken off his jacket. She turned herself to face the group of men; they looked so cheery. She always felt bad needing to say no to those last drinks. Especially today, since it was the evening of the premiere. She was about to mutter an apology when suddenly Wolfgang barged into the room cheerfully:

"Good evening meine Herren !" his voice surely sounded enthusiastic. He gesticulated that everyone had to gather around him. "First, congratulations for this successful premiere. Second, Elias you were too late on the last music stave at the end of the first act. I will not accept any mistakes next time, you are going to practice that part until you know it by heart."

That was said on a very serious tone and the bassoonist shifted uncomfortably upon his feet. Maria Anna watched as her brother congratulated everyone and made some remarks and observations. He then dismissed everyone, saying that it was finally time to celebrate. He turned himself to her, she smiled, and suddenly he took her by the shoulders.

"Well Johannes, what do you think of going to the reception at the palace with me?"

She opened her eyes wide. Every pair of eyes falling upon them, she wanted to say no, because she was supposed to attend that party dressed in a gown.

"Of course you cannot say no to that."

All the eyes were staring curiously at her, it wasn't the first time Wolfgang invited musicians to parties of the high society, in theory they were all invited but some of the artists preferred taverns to cake, tea and small talk. She felt an inner panic rising as she still hadn't answered. The pressure and gazes were becoming so difficult to bear, that she found herself nodding.

"Splendid !" said the prodigy composer before twirling upon himself, "my carriage awaits."

She followed her brother outside. What the hell was he thinking? If she didn't attend the party as Nannerl, she would get into quite some trouble. Wolfgang opened the door of the carriage; he'll have some serious explaining to do. As she climbed up she saw that she wasn't alone in the carriage. Right in front of her was a smiling Constance. Wolfgang closed the door behind him and sat down next to her. The first violinist exploded:

"Wolfgang, _mein_ _Gott _what are you thinking ? I was invited to that party."

Constance laid her hand upon hers which had the result of calming the older woman down. She pressed her lips together and crossed her arms against her chest, adamant for a reply to her question.

"Because, dear sister, people are starting to notice that you disappear when you are supposed to come to social gatherings and its raising suspicion. Also..." he grinned at her "thought it would funny to see you more in your gentlemen's clothes."

He giggled and Maria Anna nudged him hard. Her brother was a prankster and she was a bit upset. His trickster's habits had only but increased since he reached adulthood. But nevertheless she considered his words, if it were true, if indeed people were starting to wonder about Johannes' whereabouts then perhaps, yes, appearing as a man in some of the social gatherings would help her cause. In the end it couldn't be that bad. It'll just give her time to enjoy her freedom a little while longer.

"But isn't my attire going to upset the great majority? I am not dressed as a gentleman of high standard." She said while gesturing toward her clothes.

Her brother laughed: "You are wearing a uniform, this is good enough, his majesty has been lowering the barriers between the common people and us. If you change your jacket for the one I brought, all will be fine."

She took the jacket from his hands and changed her attire. Seeing her relax, Wolfgang then started to talk about mundane things, making jokes here and there. It was quite a silly situation, she had never thought she'd find herself going out while wearing this costume again. She engaged into a small conversation about her brother's children, Theresia, the youngest one, seemed to be doing pretty well when she didn't keep everyone awake with her cries. Karl Thomas at his 4 years was already quite fascinated by his father's piano. Wolfgang was talking enthusiastically and hoping that perhaps one day the young boy would follow in the footsteps of his father. The love of music was already there, the developing of the skills, hopefully, would come later. The boy should have a childhood first. Nannerl nodded and while she did, the carriage suddenly stopped: they had arrived at the palace.

The door of the carriage opened and all the occupants left the small space. Constance hooked her arm through her husband's and smiled to the first violinist. Nannerl gave sign they could walk further. She was still a bit conflicted about the situation. They were walking on such an open space. If she made any error or if anyone recognized her, everything was finished for her. Her reputation, their family's reputation and her brother's work, everything could suffer, if she made any mistake right now she'd never forgive herself. They walked up the stairs and through the main door. She looked around discreetly; nobody seemed to mind her presence or to even pay attention to her. This was a very good sign.

They made their way inside of the palace, which gave her a sense of security and relief. Her eyes scouted the ceiling and the walls; she wasn't quite used to the luxury and the beautiful decorations: the lustres, the finely painted ceilings, the furniture made of fine wood and the storytelling tapestries. It made her feel tiny but also amazed by the beauty. They walked further to the grand ballroom. Her mouth opened wide when she saw the high ceiling, how beautifully the art of Bernardo Bellotto's paintings adorned the plafond, how the gold and white of the walls were mixed together into a whole, how the mirrors showed the exquisite gowns and the sharply dressed men. The candles were making the ballroom glow festively. It wasn't Versailles, but it was beautiful nevertheless.

Her brother said something to the herald, who then proceeded to announce them without omitting her disguise's name. They proceeded by walking in, splendour and sublime decorum overwhelming her senses. She looked around, now that she was in disguise she couldn't walk over to her friends to engage conversation. She needed to stay with her brother to be able to melt into the crowd. It wasn't until they stopped that she realised where they walking to or rather to whom.

Of course she had discarded her dark blue costume of Donna Anna to that beautiful pale pink one; changed her hair, removed the bombastic powder and makeup which hid the most beautiful features of her face, gloved her hands and adorned her neck with a fine discreet necklace. Her eyes were gleaming and reflecting amusement and happiness. Maria Anna found herself frozen on the spot. The beauty of the woman in front of her, could have stolen the ground from underneath her feet. The light, _her_ light; her being; her grace; illuminating the room so brightly that it made the candlelit room seem pale in comparison. She was, amidst the ocean of faces, the fairest, the most delicate. Anyone that would turn away from her would be a complete fool.

"Dear, Aloysia, may I present you Johannes Mädchen."

She startled awake from her contemplation when the Opera singer turned herself to her. The first violinist bowed and with tender gestures took the gloved hand in hers. Nannerl laid her lips upon the silk, smelling the strong yet light perfume of violets. It was a peculiar and very unique scent; it suited the prima donna so well.

"Frau Lange, it is an honour."

She released the hand and raised herself again. Their eyes met and a shiver travelled through her spine. She hadn't had any occasion to see those dark eyes up-close before. Her cheeks started to feel warm as the other woman held her gaze. She looked away, feeling the eyes piercing gently into her. The prima donna chuckled:

"Your man seems pretty shy, Herr Mozart," she smiled and added "I like him."

It was more because of the captivating beauty than possible shyness, but the last sentence had made her feel like her heart had skipped a beat. She bit the interior of her cheek, keeping in the urge to give any further remark about the compliment. The opera singer turned herself to her brother:

"I have already heard quite some mixed praises of today's premiere. Some found it overdramatic," said the prima donna while fidgeting with the ring she was wearing. She looked quite concerned by the critics.

"The Viennese audience has a very refined and specific taste," said Constance. "It's difficult to please it."

"It has been well received in Prague, I wouldn't understand why Vienna wouldn't accept Don Giovanni as well,"cut Wolfgang in a very short and slightly annoyed voice.

The way he shifted from foot to foot showed that he was irritated by the idea itself. Her brother never liked failure.

"With the two newly written arias and the astounding choice of voices you have made, maestro, I would be very surprised if Don Giovanni doesn't get any more performances," said the first violinist.

The prima donna's eyes shifted toward her again. Her heart started thrumming in her chest. Those dark eyes were igniting the battling feelings of wanting to flee and faint at the same time. The woman really captivated her beyond any measure. Her smile, her eyes, her gloved hands, the language of her body. Even if there was or had been the history between her and her brother's broken heart, she couldn't help but find the woman truly exquisite. Had she known that one day the feeling of hatred would transform itself into the feeling she had now, she would have laughed and called herself a lunatic. She bit the inside of her cheek again, she was quite stupid to have taken a liking such as this one to the woman that had possibly been her brother's lover.

"Yes, indeed, Aloysia and La Cavalieri were the biggest assets of this opera," agreed her brother. "Talking of La Cavalieri, I have yet to speak with her." He looked around until his eyes fixed themselves on the other opera singer, "there she is, if meine Dame permits me to take my leave."

She hadn't had time to blink and her brother had eclipsed himself, his arm still hooked with Constance's. The feeling of security suddenly vanished and a slight panic was taking her over as she was left alone with the prima donna.

"Do you waltz Herr Mädchen?"

She turned herself to the other woman. Yes, she waltzed, very well even, dancing was the thing she loved the most in the kind of party they were currently attending. She had learned to Waltz a few months ago since it had become quite popular among her friends. But the dance was pretty difficult and she had never taken on the male role. So with a lot reluctance she said :

"Yes, but I am a pretty awful dancer meine Dame," she sighed. "My poor mother has always told me that I was born with two left feet."

The prima donna laughed whole-heartedly, what a beautiful sound Maria Anna thought, before a gloved hand took her wrist.

"Let's see about that, shall we."

If a heart could explode in one's chest, her heart would have combusted right there on the spot. The prima donna pulled them to the dancing floor. All the muscles of her body tensed, was this really happening? The opera singer laid her hand upon the violinist's shoulder and it felt like the air was sucked out of Maria Anna's lungs. Mechanically the older woman laid her hand upon the opera singer's shoulder blade and took the other gloved hand in her own. The sweat break on her back as she met Aloysia's eyes, who was quite taller than her. The prima Donna smiled, perhaps to encourage the musician to just start leading. Maria Anna closed her eyes and started counting: one, two, three, one, two, three, one, she inhaled and opened her eyes, one.

She glided them over the floor to take place between two couples. She felt extremely nervous and kept counting in her head. The dancing was very clumsy at first, she was lucky it was a slower dance piece that she was used to waltz on, but it was faster than the regular Allemande. She was so concentrated she almost forgot who her dance partner was. The movements became gradually more fluid as she was relearning every dance move.

"You are doing very well, Herr Mädchen."

She smiled so beautifully that the first violinist let herself relax. They twirled further and after a few minutes the musician even smiled back to the prima donna as the dancing proceeded on pure instinct and the counting was not needed anymore. Perhaps this was the closest to the woman she was ever going to be and she savoured every moment, holding the woman so close to her, was something marvellous and unique. Nannerl found herself wishing that it would never end. This was just a dream. They danced further until Aloysia's face took an unpleasant grimace.

"Are you well meine Dame ?"

The prima donna shook her head, "I am feeling rather unwell."

Nannerl unconsciously bit her lip and lead them away from the dance floor. The older woman looked very concerned as the opera singer suddenly winced and clutched her dancepartner as if she was going to faint.

"Perhaps the fresh air will do you good meine Dame."

"Yes, perhaps it will. Would you be so kind as to accompany me?"

The older woman nodded as she hooked her arm with the prima donna. A quick glance to the entourage told her that nobody has noticed or seen the slight wincing of the opera singer. They weren't far from the doors that lead the courtyard. The party had just started and there weren't a lot of people outside yet. Nannerl looked for a place they could go. Aloysia pointed a gloved hand toward the right side of the castle.

"There's a good sitting spot at the other side of the wall."

Nannerl nodded and started walking with Aloysia on her arm. Her heart had started to flutter again. They were walking further and further away from the party and from the attending invitees, which made the current encounter way more intimate. She glanced at the younger woman. The pale moon was shining a very cold light upon her, which made her delicate features only more beautiful. The prima donna looked even more mystical and unreal; a woman half-moon and half-man. Nannerl felt that one feeling inside gnawing at her to come to the surface. She wanted to touch those delicate cheeks and feel their texture while drowning herself in those dark and hypnotizing eyes.

They walked further and turned around the corner. There was indeed a bench there, but it was completely hidden by the shadow of the wall. Since the gardens were encircling the whole palace, it was a good spot and during the day, the sun would make the place one of the most beautiful spots to enjoy tea during a warm day.

"This seems like a place to sit. However, since it's a bit hidden, we're unable to benefit from the light of the moon."

What happened next made her eyes widen in surprise as two hands grabbed her jacket and she was suddenly shoved against the wall, a mouth upon hers and a body plastered against her own.

Kissing ? They were kissing

Too stunned by what was happening, she could only look at the closed eyes of Aloysia who was trapping the older woman between the wall and herself. It was with a shaking hand that the first violinist dared to lay a hand upon the prima donna's waist, replying to the kiss, softly, as she let the sensations flood over her. The taste, the feeling of those lips upon hers. She had never dared to think... to even believe that... this... that this would ever happen. The peculiar scent of Aloysia so close to her, her body against her. Both of the musician's hands were on the prima donna's waist now, gently they pressed the younger woman even closer. The warmth of her, making the older woman feel light-headed. Her heart was racing so fast, it seemed like the whole world was spinning. She loved this woman from every corner of her being.

The younger woman broke the kiss, the loss of contact made the first violinist almost whimper. She looked the musician in the eyes. The prima donna was a little short breathed, but her body was still as close as before and Nannerl could just feel the woman's body heat through her clothing.

"I have seen your gaze since the very first time I came to the Burgtheater to rehearse. Your eyes, they pierced me, and looked at me in a way a wolf would look at its prey. But at the same time they were soft and sweet as a lamb," said the younger woman. She then slightly leaned in to whisper in the first violinist's ear: "Who says I am worthy of you Herr Mächden ? You, a young and beginning musician, me, prima donna and a married woman ?"

Nannerl's mouth fell open, not knowing what to reply.

"Perhaps you aren't as special as you think you are, Herr Mädchen."

Her hands released the folds of the older woman's jacket. Nannerl blinked as Aloysia took a few steps backward, tearing herself away from the gentle grip. With a stunned feeling Maria Anna just looked at how the prima donna rearranged herself. She made sure her gloves were raised up past her elbows again and inspected her dress, which looked in order since she turned herself to the first violinist.

"I'll be inside, have good evening, Herr Mädchen "

She smiled one last time and just like that she was gone, a small laugh accompanying her lips. _Over too soon_ was the first thought that crossed the first violinist's mind, the second one was trying to pick up the puzzle pieces of what just had happened. Her legs were actually trembling; she had to sit down, to collect her thoughts. A few steps from where they had been kissing against the wall there was a bench.

She sat down, trying to understand, she felt like her world was turned upside down, she shook her head, so confused and not knowing what to do. It felt like she was in the clouds as well as being so very aware of everything. Sighing, she gently touched her lips with her fingertips, remembering how it had felt, kissing the woman she had been admiring from afar for so long. The scent of violets so close to her, the warm imprint like a never ending tingling sensation. She could try, try to find an explanation as to what just had happened and as to what was going to happen next. But it seemed that right now all she wanted to do was enjoy the beautiful memory she had just created from kissing Maria Aloysia Antonia Weber's soft lips.

The end

**Author's note:  
**I hope you have enjoyed this fic. I have done some research and my research told me that waltzing started in 1770-1780. It only truly flourished past 1800. Again huge thank you to my beautiful and magnificent belgianwhovian. Also thank you for everyone who put up with my whining that this was taking too long for that many words. I love you all 3


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